Finally they got the Singles problem under control, they made it
scientific. They opened huge Sex Centers - you could simply go and state
what you want and they would find you someone who wanted that too. You
would stand under a sign saying I Like to Be Touched and Held and
when someone came and stood under the sign saying I Like to Touch and
Hold they would send the two of you off together.
At first it went great. A steady stream of people under the sign I Like
to Give Pain paired up with the steady stream of people from under
I Like to Receive Pain. Foreplay Only - No Orgasm found its
adherents, and Orgasm Only - No Foreplay matched up its believers.
A loyal Berkeley, California, policeman stood under the sign Married
Adults, Lights Out, Face to Face, Under a Sheet, because that's the
only way it was legal in Berkeley -- but he stood there a long time in his
lonely blue law coat. And the man under I Like to Be Sung to While
Bread Is Kneaded on My Stomach had been three weeks without a
reply.
Things began to get strange. The Love Only - No Sex was doing fine;
the Sex Only - No Love was doing really well, pair after pair
walking out together like wooden animals off a child's ark, but the line
for 38D or Bigger was getting unruly, shouting insults at the line
for 8 Inches or Longer, and odd isolated signs were springing up
everywhere, Retired Schoolteacher and Parakeet - No Leather; One Rm/ No
Bath/ View of Sausage Factory.
The din rose in the vast room. The line under I Want to Be Fucked
Senseless was so long that portable toilets had to be added and a
minister brought in for deaths, births, and marriages on the line. Over
under I Want to Fuck Senseless - no one, a pile of guns. A hollow
roaring filled the enormous gym. More and more people began to move over to
Want to Be Fucked Senseless. The line snaked around the gym, the
stadium, the whole town, out into the fields. More and more people joined
it, until Fucked Senseless stretched across the nation in a huge
wide belt like the Milky Way, and since they had to name it they named it,
they called it the American Way.